Those people that know me well, know how tenderhearted I am....boy am I. If I could change one thing about myself it would probably be that (and the 30 lbs I mentioned in an earlier post). But anyway, my tender heart will stop me in my tracks, cause me to take things way to seriously and worry way too much about what others think about me. I have worn myself down throughout the years though... and what would have caused me several days of hurt feelings I now have down to a minimum. I have more important things to do...so I try to dust myself off quickly and somewhat quietly and move on. My husband and I had a conversation the other day about me...he said "you will not change for anyone and you are so certain of who you are"...and I finished by saying "and I really hope you like me because if not my feelings will be hurt". Yep. That's me. Could you imagine being in my head? I was thinking okay so I just psychoanalyzed myself so what does it all mean and how do I make myself handle things better? When I am with the outside world I imagine it almost like a scene from an old Indiana Jones movie (theme song and all) throughout the day I'm dodging a cold stare here, hurtful words there and so on...you get the point. There are some days I feel.. well...like I didn't fare the ancient Egyptian boobie traps so well. One of my favorite things to say to my husband after a bad day is "I really don't like people" .....he usually laughs and says I know hon. My tender heart has weighed me down this week. People can be jerks and they can do some really jerky things and this week I have been dodging poison arrows and crocodiles (or alligators ?) all over the place. Hmmphhf. It hurts to get hurt!? I don't want to feel this way... and I know that I only feel this way because I'm allowing myself to feel this way but dang it, it's hard not to feel this way...when someone makes you feel this way. Grrrr. And to top it all off God tells us to love one another....above all else...love. And forgiveness. We can't forget about forgiveness. So. Looks like I got some work to do. I'm working on the love and forgiveness part and God is revealing the good stuff that comes along with having this heart of mine...I care. I care deeply, and when you care deeply that is very strong motivation to get things done. So I'll keep trying and praying and showing a little bit of the love and forgiveness my heavenly Father shows me. This tender heart of mine is in his hands....because no matter what, I know he loves me...and he's the only one that matters.
Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
