So, we have a snow day and I've been thinking....
Quite a few years ago someone said something to me that changed my life forever...."You can't control other peoples actions". It seems like a simple statement but until then I had felt like I was swimming up stream. I began to look at things differently after that, and slowly began to change things in my life. I began to really understand that statement and it was liberating. I can't control any one else's actions, I can't control how they view me, speak to me, treat me, or talk to others about me. BUT I can control how I react to them, I can control their presence in my life, I control how much of their crap (yes crap, because most of the time that's what it is) I deal with. Years ago I would have stood on a chair (because I am short) and yelled right back in someone's face, I would have used my words to bring that person down, I would have defended myself until I was blue in the face...but you know what? No matter how tall that chair was...All that did was bring me down to their level, all that did was get my blood pressure up, all that did was solve nothing. I have come to realize there is no need for that...my character speaks for itself, even when my mouth is closed (sometimes its loudest then). I will save my screams and shouts for concerts, and my childrens sporting events. I have come to realize that there may be people in our lives that are abusive, there may be people in our lives that are mentally ill, and there may be people in our lives that just plain suck (sorry best word I could think of) but that does not give them an excuse to abuse us. We may love them and it may hurt, but that is still not justification for us to become a door mat. Others may not understand, but anyone who loves us would know there are two sides to every story...unless both have been heard, the story isn't finished. This is when our character is really tested. People will only do to us what we allow them to do to us. I didn't like drama in high school and I dislike it even more now (unless it's a fascinating mini series on PBS ;) so I choose how much of it I deal with...and let me tell you...it remains on the bottom of my "to do" list. I have to much I want to do while I'm here, I have so many people that love me and that I want to love on, and the path God has chosen for me is filled with only good things. God's word says we are to have "Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Love IS great...and I believe a little bit can go a long way...but I also believe that if there comes a time when it is healthy for us to separate ourselves from someone...for any period of time ....even at a distance...love is still love none the less. <3
